I wonder if today is the day when you will let go and finally forgive yourself? We all make major mistakes in Life… and many that we cannot rectify. If you’re normal, you’ll then begin your self-sentencing – sometimes for life.
The song, “Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Old Oak Tree,” has this line, “I’m coming home; I’ve done my time.” I believe some of you reading this today have done your time. Enough is enough. You’ve done your time.
Years ago I made a major mistake. I say, “years,” but I mean, “decades.” I left the family when my youngest was 7 years old. The consequences have been horrible, but that was 35 years ago. That’s a long sentence. I’m not the same person and I wouldn’t do the same thing given a second chance. Frankly, I’m not the only guilty party.
If you are like me, you’ll be massively reflective. You’ll also be a careful observer. I’ve watched my boys. They have justified a lot of questionable behaviour because I let them down first. The truth is that no injustice justifies further bad behaviour by the injured parties. No matter what has happened to you, having evil done to you doesn’t allow you to commit acts of unkindness with impunity. We bear our own burden.
I’ve been thinking about the lads and a few things they’ve done recently and thought to myself, “You know what? Enough is enough!” There’s no need for me to have a show down with them; it’s enough that I have changed my attitude towards myself. 35 years of guilt and self-punishment is enough.
For the first time in approximately ten years, I’m on the verge of being truly happy. My circumstances are far from acceptable, my future remains rather bleak, but ‘I’ have changed. It is liberating. I’ve stopped punishing myself.
It would thrill me if you would choose, today, to stop punishing yourself too.
Let’s walk free.
A Moodscope member.