Time is the key.

5 Jul 2017
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"Everything happens for a reason." Does it? I noted someone mentioning that in a response a few weeks ago, it prickled my skin and then a week or so ago the thought for the day on the bottom of the email was "Someday, everything will make perfect sense so for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason."

I riled, if everything happens for a reason why did my father in law and then dad die in such horrible ways, why did the recent terrorist attacks and fire devastate our country?

My current view is that there is no reason, things just happen, there are no fates pulling the strings to lead us upon a predestined path. We have to deal with life as it unfolds and there is no reason behind it or ahead.

I have previously thought that when folks used that expression it indicated that although something awful had happened something good would come of it. I suppose that the recent outpouring of love and kindness is a result of the attacks and fire. Does that justify the events? Not at all, but at least there is some positive in the aftermath from a distance. I can't imagine though that the families who lost their loved ones will feel much comfort or understand the reason.

I certainly don't get that there can be a positive reason going forward from my dad's suffering, it was an awful 3 months and a similarly awful death.

After a bit of time I realise that the reason may pertain to the past rather than the future, both my dad and my father in law might have died because of choices they made or health status. The terrorists acted because of their beliefs. The fire... well... Are those the reasons? Maybe? I don't like it but I accept this past reasoning much more than my former understanding of an implied future.

I am pleased to have spent the time thinking through these various possibilities, I still hold with my view, but maybe I understand other views a little more?

Have you come to appreciate something differently with a little time? What do you think of reasons?

Eva

A Moodscope member.

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