I gave up my meditation course, it was stressing me too much!

Last year I started a Monday morning meditation class in a hall about ten minutes away by car. It’s at 10am and lasts for a couple of hours, including morning coffee/ tea.

I have done previous yoga/relaxation classes and enjoyed them. But from day one I noticed that I was getting stressed by this class. We meditated sitting on a chair. I had a tendency to almost nod off and had to jerk my head up to stay awake. Not ideal and the teacher told me people would often nod off while meditating. It hadn’t happened to me at home; she explained the chairs were not quite hard enough to keep everyone awake. Sometimes the room was too cold. Sometimes too hot. But I persevered.

After the class I would rush home, have lunch quickly, and then rush out again to volunteer at the local op shop in the afternoon, which I really like doing. It made my Mondays very full on.

The teacher was away for a while this year and we had a few weeks off. I felt more relaxed. Why had I been forcing myself to go to a class that wasn’t working for me, just because I’d been told meditation would be good for my mental health? Two Monday mornings ago I finally had enough, was in a down mood and couldn’t face it. I dropped the class, feeling guilty that I’d dropped a healthy activity for my brain.

But the guilt was misplaced! My anxiety level on Monday mornings is much lower now and I am much less tired. I should have trusted my own feelings months ago. This is a pattern for me. Sometimes I have agonised for a very long time over decisions that in retrospect seemed obvious.

Have you ever found it difficult to listen to and act on your feelings about something that isn't working for you? Something big (a relationship, a job) or something small (like my class). Do you have any experiences and advice to share?

Paula

A Moodscope member