Trying to make sense of it.

21 Apr 2016

Although rather sad, the lady who wrote this poem hopes it may help anyone else in the same position. Caroline, The Moodscope Team.

Myself and my daughter are at a funeral.

A school friend died

The same age as my little girl

We sit, huddled and cuddled together

On a wooden pew

Mourning the death of a little princess.

My daughter asks me how and why

I have no answers.

I have hugs and tears and words of comfort

But the truth is -

What is the truth?

The truth is -

There is no place for empty words here

This is not a time to say 'she is in a better place'

This was an innocent child

Taken too soon.

Where is she, mum? Where has she gone?

I envy those around me with faith

A faith that allows them talk of god

Talk of heaven, talk of angels.

I wish I had their words, their beads, their beliefs.

I do find comfort in the religious rituals,

I do enjoy the theatricality of the ceremonies

But that's as far as I go.

I hold my daughter tight

I say I love her

I say life is precious

Sad and difficult -

especially for those who grieve for their children -

But precious.

My daughter says she's sad

I say sadness is part of life.

My daughter says she's angry

I say anger is okay.

It's the first time I've said that to my children

The first time I have acknowledged anger is okay

To them

To me.

I have always equated anger with rage and cruelty.

But now, on this sad of saddest of days,

I say we need our anger

We need to embrace it and use it

In a positive way

To push our little fragile selves through life

To live each day as best we can.

It's okay to be sad and angry I say to my little girl

It's human,

It means we're alive and kicking.

She bites her lip

What about laughing, mum?

Is it okay to laugh, even though my friend is dead?

Yes, it's okay to laugh

It's vital to laugh

That's why we're here

To feel

To be

To love

To live.

But, right now, we stand. Because today, we are here to mourn.

Salt Water Mum

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

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