I recently saw a meme on Facebook which states “It has come to my attention that “Up and not crying” is an acceptable Norwegian response to questions like, “How are you doing?” and I shall immediately be adopting this for the days when I am, in fact, up and not crying.”

While I am normally sceptical of memes like this, a Norwegian friend has confirmed that this is indeed a phrase often used: “Oppe og ikke gråter.”

Today, the weather is definitely crying, and it has had an effect on my mood. I am not clinically depressed, but definitely feeling a little blue. It’s cold and wet outside and I just want to stay inside where it’s warm, snuggled up on the sofa in a cosy jumper and with my fleece slippers on my feet. I acknowledge that a good tramp through the rain would probably lift my mood, but I don’t want to wrap up and get out there.

Even with antidepressants and mood stabilisers, we cannot be cheerful all the time and I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect that. There will be and should be times when we’re down. Sometimes the reason will be as simple as the weather, and sometimes it will reflect circumstances. Last Monday I went to the funeral of a woman taken before her time in a road traffic accident. She leaves behind a husband and children just out of their teens. Her funeral, although a celebration of her life, was also a time of grief and sorrowful reflection.

There is the wonderful British expression, “Mustn’t grumble,” which is also an acceptable answer to the question “How are you doing?” It’s not the red flag the words, “I’m fine,” flies but is an acknowledgment that life is not all roses at the moment. And when, to be honest, is life all roses? There can be moments of bliss but much of life is pretty dull really.

Perhaps you have a really interesting job, or an engrossing hobby, so never find yourself dull, but I think, in that case, you are in the minority. And, if we are realistic, dull is a blessing. We have all heard of the Chinese curse, “May you live in interesting times.”

Life is often a time of dullness when our mood is not particularly buoyant or optimistic. Instead, we are just getting through, day by day. My elder daughter has just started her career in accountancy; her current training is all about compliance, and she is finding it dull. I cannot blame her. Accountancy doesn’t need to be boring (I was an accountant myself and, while it wasn’t the right career for me, it wasn’t boring) but this particular aspect of her training is mind numbing.

So, coping with the dull day to day and dealing with grey moods is normal and inescapable. “Up and not crying,” is indeed a perfectly acceptable answer.

“How are things with you?”

“Oh well, mustn’t grumble.”

Mary

A Moodscope member