I have always been more self conscious than I would like. I had one very judgemental parent. The other always wanting to please others. Both wanting to impress.
It feels a little boring for me to keep "blaming" my parents, but boring is good. Better than painful. Boring leads to finding something better!
Coming back to the point though, I've had the feeling that what others thought of how we were brought up, was MORE important than we were. That My happiness didn't matter.
I get the same feeling at work. Nothing is ever good enough. Never doing enough. More and more new things being piled onto an already full workload. In fact it really seems as if you're happy something must be wrong! You're obviously not working hard enough. "You are not good enough value for money and we can demand more out of you."
Well guess what? My emotional wellbeing does matter.
My happiness is important.
It's ok to enjoy my life, whether I am being paid or not!
This is MY life.
All of my time is my own. Whether I am being paid or not.
I can decide how to spend it.
I can trust myself to do what I need AND want to do.
AND I can take the time I need to do it!
It's no wonder that people go through long periods of time finding it hard to feel any enjoyment or happiness, but that doesn't mean that it is a done deal.
I would like to worry less about what people think of me.
Step one (making this up now guys!)
Turn it into a positive... I want to relax about things a bit more, I deserve to.
Notice an old pattern or worry as it starts and gently let it pass. What self care would make you feel a little better? Do that.
Notice an opportunity to try a little of what you want. For me, I can relax about and even enjoy what I'm doing. I matter. If others are on the same page, wonderful. If they're not, they matter less.
Is there something that you would like?
A Moodscope member.