Wear Epic pants!

24 Dec 2014

Sometimes I write because I feel I have some perspective to share, some hope, some fragment of wisdom. Sometimes I write because I feel my insides have been turned into outsides and I feel ravaged and displaced. Sometimes I write because the embarrassment or the sorrow, the grief or the burden or the sore has nowhere to go and then I can write it out. Most often it goes nowhere but sometimes I get brave and press 'send'. Today I write because of what happened yesterday.

Live music is my salvation. It's the one time I feel my whole body relax and succumb. I need it. I need to feel music in my body not just in my ears. But yesterday I was crippled and crushed. Broken and scattered. Racing heart, racing head, shallow breath. I had no place. The gig I had been scoring down the days for, for months and months, was in jeopardy. This happens a lot and frequently ends in a broken dream. I could go into great detail about all of the problems and symptoms and worries. Or I could just say that I really fought with myself. I really put into practice what I'm learning. I had thoughts, acknowledged them and made them float past me (actually I shoved them down the river much more 'your time is up' and much less 'Pooh sticks'). I had a racing heart and I made my body stop to show my heart how to slow. I breathed out, properly out (have you noticed when panic takes over we breathe in more than out, compounding the feeling of rising panic in our chests? Combat this with a longer out breath.) Throughout the working day I also worked on myself.

I did it! I made the gig. And today I am invigorated with pride. I'm still there singing. I'm still there clapping. I'm still there shining my little light. I'm living today on the memory of yesterday...all too often that's for a bad reason and today it is for a good one. My message is this. It IS possible. It IS possible to break out and be you, even if only for a little bit. Find your thing. Be you. Superhero pants over tights are optional, but will delight others.

Until the next time...I send love.

The room above the garage.

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. Posts and comments on the blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice.

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