What if you were told by an authority that you believed, “I give you a choice today: you can say what you have, or you can have what you say”?

How would that change what you say?

What would you say differently, if I said, “You can have what you say”?

I listen to what people say… a lot.

So much of it is spiced with the bitter flavours of a negative bias/negativity bias. I’m assured that the human tendency to give greater weight - more bias – to perceived negative events (than to positive events of similar intensity) is a throwback to days where such a negative bias could save our lives. It’s like our own personal robot who exclaims, “Danger, danger, Will Robinson!”

The way we think, the way we feel, the way we behave – and the way those feelings and thoughts leak out through what we say can all be tinged with this negative/negativity bias.

I was well trained. As a family, we could have a brilliant day out together but if one thing went wrong – that was the thing that would demand our attention way beyond the positives.  This cascaded down into how we would remember the day as if the ‘bad’ aspect was recorded in multi-sensory technicolour, whilst the lovely moments were in a washed-out grey.

Having graduated from the family-school-of-gloom (with honours – I might add), I transferred the skill into situations where I had feedback. The secret was to make sure that any criticism outweighed tons of praise! 23 very happy sheets on a workshop could be outweighed by 1 unhappy evaluation sheet.

This inaccurate and biased way of judging and perceiving the world can be challenged in many ways! Knowing it exists and calling it out can often change the way we feel. Being intentional with our attention on the positives and then expressing an attitude of gratitude works wonders. Catching ourselves processing events in a negative way, and then challenging the evidence – finding the positive – can also be effective.

But today, I want some magic. What if instead of saying what we’ve got/feel/believe, we say what we want instead? What if we can have what we say? If this magic works, we could make friends with the word, “Yet.”

An example: “I’ve not seen the shift I am expecting in my health yet, but I am sure that the treatment is going to work.” (Yet… but)

Another: “I’ve not got the evidence of the breakthrough I’m hoping for yet, but, nevertheless, I have total confidence that soon the evidence will confirm that I’m on the right path.”

And then, if you’re bold, you could start spouting miracles: “I am getting stronger,” “I am feeling better,” “I am becoming more successful,” “Peace is growing inside me – I am becoming calmer.”  This is the stuff of affirmations – a topic we are coming to love!

Just imagine you can have what you say today.

Lex

A Moodscope member