It’s not you, it’s me.

A couple of weeks ago a comment on the blog of the day (sadly, I can’t remember which one) sparked a thought. What if we change every day?

The comment referred to the fact that you can make coffee every day, using the same coffee beans and the same amount of hot water every day and it always tastes slightly different. But, what if it’s not the coffee that tastes different but our tastebuds changing from day to day?

Most of us seem to be able to eat the same breakfast every day without getting bored. Perhaps it’s the time of day and our tastebuds haven’t yet woken up. Maybe the whole of breakfast tastes different every day.

I think many of us have had the experience of drinking sangria on holiday. Many of us have enjoyed it so much we’ve brought a bottle or two of it home – only to find it’s not half as nice. It seems that sangria can only be enjoyed in the sunshine and that it loses its flavour under grey skies. Or perhaps the sangria is the same and it’s all just in our minds. They say that tasting begins with the eyes; a beautifully presented plate is far more appetising. Our tastebuds are affected by climate too: nobody wants a bowl of steaming soup on a hot day.

It’s not just our tastebuds that change, it’s us. How many relationships have floundered because two people change in different ways and grow apart? But change we must. Life is about change. Not to change means death – and even after death there is change as our bodies decay in the ground or our ashes disappear into the air or sea. I’m not the same person as I used to be, and neither are you.

Some changes are positive and some negative. I’m much more accepting and less judgemental than I used to be. On the other hand, I’m nowhere near as adventurous: I’m far less likely to take opportunities to do something new.

Should we challenge ourselves on our changes? I think, if we are in a relationship, we need to keep an eye on them and make sure we don’t change so much we are a stranger to our loved one. Perhaps we should watch for their changes too and maybe challenge them. “You’ve changed,” we might say, and perhaps again it’s we who have changed and not realised.

Then there’s our mental health. I found my bipolar got worse in middle age. I had always refused treatment until the mania got so bad my family and friendships were suffering. Now, it’s a case of adjusting the medication so that I can remain stable and not change.

What changes have you noticed over the years, or even day to day? Do you like them, or do you wish you could change back, or not change at all?

And does your coffee taste the same as yesterday?

Mary

A Moodscope member