It’s been a while since I’ve been on here, but thought this would be a good time to post something. As you may know, I’ve struggled/managed/struggled/managed, somehow/struggled and the vicious circle carries on. I’ve been feeling pretty rubbish the past few days but had previously felt I was coming to an even steady feeling of “I’m okay” since caving in and upping my medication.

So why am I feeling this way? What am I missing in life? I seem to have all I need right? So what’s wrong? I seem to land in the lost realm and it gets pretty ropey/scary at times because I just don’t know the why! Okay I’ve been to two funerals of a close person who’s parents have passed away and yes I’ve done some pretty evasive surgery on my teeth which takes a while to get fixed… so maybe all this has contributed? But knowing that these things will pass, why am I feeling unsettled? Maybe I’m thinking of when my parents pass away, how will I deal with it… maybe I won’t etc. I know you’ll say that thinking about something that hasn’t happened is essentially wasting energy but it can be hard to stay in the moment these days with so much going on in the world.

Sorry all, no words of wisdom but just questions… think I’m missing some connection in my life that’s not there.

Hopefully from your experiences I could learn something or even try.

Hope you all are managing the ‘noonday demon’ as Andrew Solomon calls it! Great book in An Anatomy of Depression which I’ve yet to finish (is a big one).

Hugo

A Moodscope member.