I was hosting on Christmas day and it was an early start with a very late finish. I missed my meditation. And so ended my unbroken 100+ days of constant. Initially I felt crushed. That was it. Run streak over, disappointed in myself and no impetus left to wash myself in its dewy freshness daily.
Then I took a very heavy virus. Night sweats and hours of listening to my own wheeze can never be gone too soon. I stood in the shower and learned that my mind was on a rampage! I was angry at the ignorance of my aunt and her attitude to my beautiful (and very ill) granny. I was fearful at the return of school and a routine I struggle with. I was consumed with the excruciatingly lonely world of solo parenting my three. My mind jumped from one self-worth question to the next and I was exhausted merely standing under warm water!!
Then a little miracle happened. My 100+ days of meditation grabbed hold and guided me in. Child to mothership. I heard the words "The moment you realise you've been distracted, just return to the breath". And it worked. I repeated it a number of times.
It enabled me to wash off the night. Replace the bedding. Make a big skillet of goodness and sit around the table with my crew and a pot of tea and see that life was ok.
Meditation returns tomorrow morning with the return of my pressured but secure routine. The unbroken run streak never mattered. It's the returning that matters. Whatever it is that makes the difference in your life... return to what you need to be able to get hold of it. And again. And again. And it will come through for you. Trust it.
The room above the garage
A Moodscope member.
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