I lost me

back before I knew to watch myself with care, 

I disappeared

Where? I do not know 

I wonder now was I ever found 

or lost all along 

From the time I took my first breath 

till now 

as the tears roll and pool in my neck, I heard you knocking 

Sadness why did you need to come knocking?

Maybe you were not even invited 

Or perhaps you were the guest I longed for 

What a choice I have had 

Numb or sad

I choose numb for so long

Now I can’t choose any other

Than to feel 

Even if it’s haunting

Even if it’s like tiny glass shards in my heart 

Why did you come for me sadness 

Why not choose another 

On second thoughts choose me

I know you well 

Stay away from my children 

Have me instead 

You wash over and over 

Recede push forward 

Recede push forward 

I try not to fight you 

What use! 

It is futile 

You arrive and leave in your own time 

I can toil but it is a fools effort 

Today you have me

I am yours 

Surrendered and in your embrace 

You do comfort me

You do hold me 

It’s painful but your embrace envelops 

I let you 

I breathe you in 

I taste you in my tears 

I know you so well 

Etched within  

Aimee

A Moodscope member