I’ve been bipolar since my son was born 40 years ago. I am now 65. I have lived in France all that time but when I’ve been seriously ill my friends always seem to send me back to England to be with my family. 

I have been sectioned three times for psychosis at different times when I was there so I’m talking about serious highs and serious lows. For 35 years I’ve had a fantastic French psychiatrist who thanks to practical support and medication which we tweak together according to whether I’m high or low I’ve managed to bring up a wonderful son on my own, had some good relationships (ok, between 1 and 8 years each time) and have held down a pretty high powered job in communications and marketing. I won’t say I haven’t suffered and it hasn’t been hard but it’s thanks to the medication and support that I’ve survived.

I’m finding stigma is getting better when one is depressed. People can usually relate to a certain extent to tears, sadness etc even though they rarely understand to what degree, but what I find the most hurtful is the comments I get when I’m high. When I feel back to my vivacious, fun self the psychiatrist and I work together to reduce my pills. I gradually come down from 7 a day to one. I’m so happy and grateful to be me again but some of my friends are so used to seeing me down, that rather than being happy for me that I’m back up, I get comments like “Wow you are on a high at the moment” and it’s as if they don’t recognise the real me, just as I was when I was young! I have taught myself to control myself when I’m up, I spend more but within my means, I enjoy talking more and doing more but I consciously hold myself in check as sometimes, dare I say it, it feels uncomfortable to be so so happy as if I’m driving along in first gear. Being bipolar is a very bumpy ride but please let people enjoy their ups without judgemental comments which really do hurt.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Alison

A Moodscope member