Why Do People Do This? 

10 Dec 2021

Someone you trust may not be able to accept that you are changing, so they continue to remind you of your past. People sometimes are critical of you in the areas they feel insecure about. You cannot stop people from bringing up your past mistakes. However it is possible for you to control your feelings about your mistakes. 

Do you feel guilty about your past decisions? Have you tried to forgive yourself?

If you can see your past, with the poor choices, as who you are and not use them to belittle yourself, then others will not be able to judge you.

I read that if you feel no shame, other efforts to upset you with your past has little power over you. Alas that does not work for me. If certain topics to do with my parenting are mentioned my whole body reacts and I am instantly on the defensive.

It is no secret that we all make errors, but it is how we learn and gain insights into our behaviour that helps us.

As a grownup we may feel we have changed but, someone may choose to keep reminding us of the things we did when we were mentally or physically unwell or under pressure. How do you cope when someone close to you keeps bringing up some past behaviour that may be 40 years ago?

If it is a loved one who brings up the past and you mostly have a good relationship with them, is it possible for their words to have no effect.

If you don’t have people bringing up your past, do you know why they don’t.


A Moodscope member.

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