“No, but…”

“Yes, but…”

“No, and…”

“Yes, and…”

Only one of these has a future.

Do you ever wonder why we communicate with one another? It’s easy to understand the value of language in passing on all manner of wisdom from experience, and sharing knowledge we can use. And yet, why do we talk so much?

One answer could be that it is a way for us to exchange energy. Some conversations energise us and leave us invigorated and wanting more. I had one of these with a 14-year-old student of mine. It’s the first Zoom call in 18 months that I didn’t want to end! Her enthusiasm for very important world-changing subjects and her erudite grasp of them was a joy to listen to. And listen I did. My role was as a catalyst, to say, “Yes, and…” to all her ideas and insights. The conversation flowed. It was the best part of that very good day.

Why am I bringing up, “Yes, And…” again when I’ve spoken about it before. I’m raising it again because I’m still saying, “No, but…” and, “Yes, but…” and even, “No, and…” to the people who are closest to me. I’m still blocking their energy. I haven’t learned the lesson deeply enough, and it is something I dearly desire to master.

If you want to keep a conversation flowing, saying, “Yes, and…” to whatever is offered is the best way to increase and maintain the flow. “Yes, And – How Improvisation Reverses “No, But” Thinking and Improves Creativity and Collaboration,” by Kelly Leonard & Tom Yorton, is one of only three books I have ever bought the audio AND the printed versions. [The other two are, “Building a StoryBrand: Clarify Your Message So Customers Will Listen,” by Donald Miller, and “Lord of the Rings,” by J R R Tolkien.]

Do you need to buy the book? Yes, and I’d recommend the audio too!

Since consciously taking a, “Yes, and…” approach to my conversations, I am feeling more alive and engaged than I have in the last 18 months. Give it a try – especially with anyone you’ve been in danger of taking for granted. You may well be surprised at how your intimacy can be so rapidly enhanced.

Lex

A Moodscope member.