The head of one of the largest Mental Health Institutions in the UK was quoted as saying, “If I could guarantee all the patients ‘forgiveness’ – two-thirds of them could walk out tomorrow…”

So, what can you and I do about ‘guilt’?  Unless we have a forgiving worldview or belief-system, there are two major strategies to get this monkey off our backs. The first one is to deny it. The second is to absorb it.

To deny guilt is to excuse ourselves, or, even better, to blame someone or something else outside our control. That way, it is not our fault… we are blameless. ‘They,’ made me this way, or ‘they,’ made me do it…  The top option is to reframe and change our standards to embrace the behaviours, attitudes, and thoughts that once ‘made’ us feel guilty. Those standards that we grew up with are out-of-step with modern culture and are thus irrelevant. We call it being ‘enlightened’ and ‘liberal’ in our paradigms. But does this really deal definitively with the feeling of guilt?  Not for me!

Option two is to take it in, to absorb it, to say, “Yeah, I’m worthless…” with all the disastrous consequences of low self-esteem… and we know all about that, don’t we?

What if, instead of denying or absorbing guilt, we could dissolve it? What if I could convince you that, “You are forgiven?”  What difference would that make to your life? Instead of liberating you from denying or absorbing, what would happen if you had to live in denial or under the continuous oppression of relentless Lady MacBeth-style, “Out, damn spot!”?

You and I have a role to play in this liberation. How? We can explicitly forgive those who have genuinely hurt us… or even think they’ve hurt us. When we say, “I forgive you,” we set captives free. Get out of jail, free.

Who could you forgive today? Who could you set free from the bonds of guilt? You couldn’t do anything more compassionate.

And how about you turning that gift of forgiveness upon yourself? Can you, could you, would you (finally) forgive yourself? I hope so…

Lex

A Moodscope member