My step son "M' – let's call him 'M' because it sounds more James Bond-like, doesn't it? – my step son 'M' won't change the toilet-roll. Not, "Can't," but, "Won't."

I find this irritating. He's nearly 30 and will, almost without fail, leave the toilet-roll holder empty when he's consumed the last resource! The replacement is on a spike less than two feet away from the holder. Does the spike have his name on it?

Am I wrong to find this irritating? After all, one of Moodscope's 20 cards is 'Irritable'.

What is definitely wrong is my attitude and desired response. I can be quite sarcastic. I want to give him a training session in how to change the toilet-roll... but I know that he knows full well how to do it. He just expects the toilet-fairy to do it. Clearly, I am Tabitha, the Toilet-Fairy!

I hold my tongue instead of biting him.

I'm not really sure what's happening to me at the moment. I'm not hearing voices. I don't believe in channelling. But I'm picking up thoughts.

Bathed in irritation, I sat down and the thought came: "Look around the room and notice the objects that are red."

"Now, notice what is green. Are there more green objects than red? Or is it the other way around?"

Two colours were enough for me to get the point. The thought 'said', "You are choosing to use selective attention."

"Yes," I responded.

"Do 'M's virtues outweigh his vices?"

"Yes," I answered.

"Then choose to pay selective attention to his strengths, his gifts, his character, his virtues!"

Result? Irritation evaporated. It's a toilet-roll, for goodness sake!

End of blog? No.

I then realised that the irritation was within me – not 'because' of what M was doing or not doing. The irritation in me was looking for a target – a reason to express itself. Now that I know where the real problem lies, I've changed... and M has noticed.

Who knows, he might even put a fresh toilet-roll on the dispenser without having to be nagged.

Even young dogs can learn new tricks 'cos this old dog certainly has.

Tabitha

A Moodscope member.