"Why am I here?"

All of us must have asked this question at some point in our lives.

For those of us who suffer with depression, maybe we ask it more frequently than most – screaming and howling and whimpering it out to the empty universe.

"Why am I here?"

"What am I for?"

"What's My Life All About?"

And, "Does it even matter if I am here or not?"

Well, I think it does matter. I think we all have something we need to give to the universe; we have a reason to be here. We have a purpose.

Some time ago I was lucky enough to win a personal development course with Richard Jacobs. It was a course on finding your purpose in life. It was an excellent, if challenging course, and I would recommend highly his book, "The 7 Questions to Find Your Purpose". His book is based upon the idea that to be fulfilled we need to understand our meaning, and that every single one of us has our own unique meaning that expresses our individual core values, talents and abilities.

My purpose in life is to create beauty and generate joy.

I can't tell you how much that has simplified my life and made some decisions easier. In considering any new project, I just ask myself, does this create beauty? Does it generate joy?

My work fulfils these requirements absolutely. My card-making does. I try to create beauty with my words when I'm writing. I know my stories bring joy, because that's the kind of stories they are. I hope that my writings here at least bring comfort, if not absolute joy.

But – when I was asked recently if I would take on a role for a national charity working with bi-polar, I refused. It was a role I could perform well; a needed role; but it doesn't fit with who I am and who I need to be in the world.

Knowing that I'm here to create beauty and generate joy however, is not enough on its own.

A telephone conversation with a business coaching friend showed me this.

"But why?" she asked. "What happens when you work with your clients, so they see their own beauty and take joy in it?"

I thought. "When my clients are confident in their own beauty, they pass it on. They are more easily able to give the gift of themselves to the world..."

"And what happens then?"

And we drilled down. And down. And down. Until I was in tears and shaking with the power of it.

Because if all the world were filled with beauty and joy there would be harmony and peace in the world. And it would be a very different place.

It is better to light one candle than to sit and curse the darkness. Yes – we have all heard that. But, it's much easier to light and tend your candle when you know where it is and how its light shines.

Even in the darkest of depression, we have our purpose still. I don't know what your purpose is; I only know you have one. You have a wonderful light. Find it.

Then, let that light shine.

Mary

A Moodscope member.