I felt somewhat deflated today about what I perceived as the lack of achievements in our house last year until my husband said to me... think about what we have actually done here. Write yourself a list to actually see what has been achieved. But I thought about going back a bit to when we moved.
We created a home from an unloved place that hadn't been inhabited for over two years. The dead seagull in the road (which I thought was an omen initially) had been thrown into our front garden, its wing up in defiance. Even with a brief and dreadful foray into housekeeping and the thought that I should just give up my self employment due to perceived lack of interest in the funeral directors in the area, I stuck at it and business is growing slowly and steadily. I will still have to 'pound the streets' to get more business but I'm up for the challenge.
We made new friends. I joined writing, art and badminton groups. As for last year, we paid off the smart new teal sofas, we lost our precious dogs but gained a beautiful new dog after such terrific loss. A man shed was built, a path was built to the back of the workshop by clearing the garage, a memorial area was created for the boys, the existing shed was completely cleared and tidied, a lovely flower bed was created with new plants and climbers, some fascias were replaced, gutters were cleaned, a back fence was put up, leylandi were cut down, areas were dug, slabs were laid, foundations were built, much pyromania was done, another fence was put up between us and the neighbours, a huge amount of clearing was done, a ton of decluttering was done, bags were filled and taken to the charity shops and in the meantime, jobs were changed, various friends and relatives were entertained and accommodated throughout the year and I won an award for one of my poems, as well as taking part in readings of my own work at our local theatre.
Yet still through all of this, I feel I have so much more to achieve this year and that I should have achieved even more last year. So this blog encourages you to think about some of your achievements. These are mainly practical things.
If I think about the other more deeper and emotional things, I have achieved a lot more than I give myself credit for. I've pushed through my anxious moments and challenged myself. I've relaxed into myself more and stopped trying too hard. This is me. Take it or leave it. I'm not afraid to show my true colours and if people don't want to join me, that's fine. I won't take it personally. I'll see it as an absolute achievement not to do so.
A Moodscope member.