The range of relationships we all must have with our parents, guardians, step parents, partners, friends, and children must be very broad and diverse. I'm certain few of them know how to love us as we'd like to be loved. So, here's a message that will help you cope with the level of love and style of love that they are capable of giving.
My Mum, I know, loves me, but has always struggled to show it. My Dad, I know, loves me and shows it in the very British ways he knows best – and practically too. Neither are hug-type people. I'm a hug-type person. Love, for me, means touching, hugging, holding-hands.
A friend, for some unknown reason, sent me a link to an event where Oprah Winfrey interviews Bishop T.D. Jakes. His insights are new to me (not everything comes across the pond to the UK), and it was a delight to share in Oprah and the Bishop's exchanges. I'm going to share the link (it's only 3 minutes) and I'm also going to try and share as much of it word for word because it is so rich in insights.
Firstly, Oprah says, "You've got to meet people where they are, and love them at the level that they can receive it." I've got to agree with that. I am way too much for some people – so I've had to learn to curb my enthusiasm, and yes, my 'love'.
Bishop T.D. Jakes explains that our parents were 'broken' when we received them – just as we are. Broken people can't do all that we might want them to do... they don't have the capability. This means that our 'ideal' is often at odds with 'reality'.
His suggestion is that some of us have a 10-gallon capacity for love, and that some of us with this capacity are born into families who only have a single pint capacity for love. When you are a 10-gallon person, you naturally want love on a 10-gallon level. However, when we are around with one-pint-people, they could be giving us ALL they've got!
This isn't going to fill us up because we're way bigger than that. We operate at a much more profound level of love, and would be tempted to say, "Is that it?"
It can be a breakthrough to realise that for some people, that's all they've got. They're broken, but they are giving their best, doing their best, loving their best.
Let's follow Oprah's suggestion to meet them where they are and love them at the level they can receive it... and then go and get topped up somewhere in addition!
What's your capacity for love? Are you near the pint place, or do you have a massive love-tank?
A Moodscope member.