Godspeed 

10 Sep 2022
Bookmark

The Queen’s death seems to have come about in a characteristically steadfast way. Almost like she planned a neat and ordered, graceful sign off - one day she was at work, then she tidied up leaving the leather bound instructions manual in an empty in-tray. The imagined image in my head of her husband smiling as he wrapped her into the crook of his arm, can stay a long while.

For anybody who has found a resurgence in feelings of grief (from the long or near past) that they thought they had popped into a little tin marked ‘done’, please do not place expectation on yourself.  Grief isn’t a thing, it’s lots of things.  And it’s a shape-shifter, it rarely repeats itself but plays hide and seek with us.

For me, I have missed my two grannies very much this week. They were just a year or three older than the Queen and I was lucky to have had them in my life until I was in my forties.  

The way to keep grief from winning is, I believe, to keep the fun memories close.  I think of my granny saying “auld Queenie is still a fine looking wumman for her age hen, mind you, so would I be if I’d had her diet”.  I think of my other granny unexpectedly farting, wearing her nightie as she answered the phone, and causing my brother and I (age 9 and 6) to think our lungs would burst from holding in our laughs.  And I think of the Queen larking about on Britannia saying “weeeeeeeeeee” as the boat lurched in a slightly rough sea, in order to help keep guests calm.

Grief wears many coats.  Just keep putting them on a peg and not in the wardrobe.

Godspeed ma’am.

Love from

The room above the garage

A Moodscope member.

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. Posts and comments on the blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice.

Email us at support@moodscope.com to submit your own blog post!

Comments

Sarah yellow rose

Sept. 11, 2022, 4:37 a.m.

Thank you for the great blog Ratg. I especially like. Grief wears many coats. Just keep putting them on a peg and not in the wardrobe. Xx

Reply

G

Sept. 11, 2022, 7:52 p.m.

I agree Sarah. It’s comforting to not close the door.

the room above the garage

Sept. 11, 2022, 5:40 a.m.

The first paragraph has glitched, so here it is: “The Queen’s death seems to have come about in a characteristically steadfast way. Almost like she planned a neat and ordered, graceful sign off - one day she was at work, then she tidied up leaving the leather bound instructions manual in an empty in-tray. The imagined image in my head of her husband smiling as he wrapped her into the crook of his arm, can stay a long while. “

Reply

Mortimer

Sept. 11, 2022, 6:49 a.m.

Brilliant blog, upsurge of grief surprised me, well into my seventh decade and in theory at least hardened to life’s vicissitudes, although my eyeballs do tend to leak on the slightest provocation, tears streaming down my face whilst doing the washing up on Friday morning. But as you aver, ratg think of the memories, the example, the joy and the future. Thanks for a truly inspiring and helpful blog.

Reply

vicky

Sept. 11, 2022, 7:04 a.m.

beautiful and so true , thank you xx

Reply

The Gardener

Sept. 11, 2022, 7:35 a.m.

Thank you ratg 'And so say all of us'. It seems such a short time since you 'opened' your blog (and heart) to peoples memories of their departed the Sunday after the death of my son - what a huge comfort to so many people who replied (that was 13th February). Last Friday was the funeral of my nephew - he had schizhophrenia we believe - very clever, but difficult. He had become a recluse, and was found dead, no reason, several days before he was found. My poor niece, immediate guilt she did not do more - but as he seldom answered his phone and was not social I have been trying to persuade her that I have never known anybody so dutiful, she has only us and, luckily, her daughter. The unpublished pictures of the Queen (same programme on French TV last night) had to bring up those of my son. They range from sitting in a high chair in Italy eating chocolate pudding to, during a remission from cancer, holding his grand-son. Grief is natural and healthy - how wonderful that in a small way my son and husband, in a grand way our Queen we can celebrate their lives. ***

Reply

Lexi

Sept. 11, 2022, 2:09 p.m.

TG I had a cousin who died the same way. He suffered from schizophrenia for most of his life, in and out of hospitals, halfway homes, living on the street...it's a horrible disease and it takes such a toll on the body. My thoughts are with you and your family. xo

Paul

Sept. 11, 2022, 7:57 a.m.

Thank you for todays blog Ratg I never thought of this but you are spot on watching this sad news unfold is like picking a scab from a wound. My life has been badly affected by many deaths First being my dad 52 years ago when I was 14 And many more since. I’m not looking for sympathy but realise why I feel so low on hearing about passings of friends and people that have been part of the fabric of life. Must be an age thing but my eyes can leak very quickly these days. Paul

Reply

Dragonfly

Sept. 11, 2022, 8:30 a.m.

I'm watching the Queen's coffin process through the Scottish highlands and understand how spirits can soar amidst its beauty. I'm reminded of taking Mum on her last journey back to Austria. I've often been told of late how I make things 'about me' - yes quite unfairly, but your blog, dear ratg has allowed me to recognise and validate my own feelings, the loss of my parents, love, sadness, regrets and all that accompanies. Love and thanks xx

Reply

Orangeblossom

Sept. 11, 2022, 12:25 p.m.

Many thanks for the blog! I have been thinking of my Mum a lot this weekend. It is about 36 weeks today since she passed away. She was intrigued about Royal Family activities. She used to refer to her as ‘your Queen’. The Queen did leave a gap & she may live on in our collective memories.

Reply

Lexi

Sept. 11, 2022, 2:05 p.m.

I love this RATG. I once described my grief after losing my father to the tide. There is no controlling it, just let it happen, go in and go out. xo

Reply

Teg

Sept. 11, 2022, 5:23 p.m.

Hi RATG Thanks for writing so beautifully. The events of the last few days have awakened thoughts about my own mortality. Many of us assumed the Queen would go on for ever or at least to 100. I heard someone say that Charles is getting old and won't have a long reign. Then I realised I was older than our new King! Txx

Reply

G

Sept. 11, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

Yes Teg, it did feel like the Queen would be here forever didn’t it.

Ach UK

Sept. 11, 2022, 6:49 p.m.

Thank you Ratg, I have a lovely image of the Queen last weekend looking at her diary for events in this week and with decisive scratch of her pen cancelling certain events " too tired for that,. rebook for November. . . ." etc. . . . " Hmmmn (tick)-- I'll see Boris out, oh and I better see in the New PM. , Oh, another lady, oh yes I must see her in then. Hoorah, nothing of any great importance after Tuesday. I think I'll sleep in. . . ... And me too, and I'm getting emotionally labile, it's all too easy for me to get caught up in all the media programs, they do have some interesting stories. Good idea Ratg, putting my griefmac. on the peg by the door and box of tissues. Hopefully Seeing it in plain view I will be able to lift it off the peg, give it a shake and return it. On my calendar for this week take time to sleep more, turn off TV early allow myself a few strokes of my griefmac and feel a little love and pride for our late Monarch. Thanks Ratg. XX Ach.

Reply

Ach UK

Sept. 11, 2022, 6:49 p.m.

Thank you Ratg, I have a lovely image of the Queen last weekend looking at her diary for events in this week and with decisive scratch of her pen cancelling certain events " too tired for that,. rebook for November. . . ." etc. . . . " Hmmmn (tick)-- I'll see Boris out, oh and I better see in the New PM. , Oh, another lady, oh yes I must see her in then. Hoorah, nothing of any great importance after Tuesday. I think I'll sleep in. . . ... And me too, and I'm getting emotionally labile, it's all too easy for me to get caught up in all the media programs, they do have some interesting stories. Good idea Ratg, putting my griefmac. on the peg by the door and box of tissues. Hopefully Seeing it in plain view I will be able to lift it off the peg, give it a shake and return it. On my calendar for this week take time to sleep more, turn off TV early allow myself a few strokes of my griefmac and feel a little love and pride for our late Monarch. Thanks Ratg. XX Ach.

Reply

Login or Sign Up to Comment