There came a time in my life when I wondered whether what was missing was some spiritual guidance. I thought maybe that was why I found it so hard to enjoy life.
Coincidentally a family friend was talking about travelling and meeting buddhists who all seemed so happy and kind. She had joined a local group and was learning to chant.
To cut a long story short, I liked the ideas but I wasn't dedicated enough to learn to become a buddhist. For a start I eat meat! I can be loving and giving to most people most of the time, but not all people all of the time!
What I have settled for is being good enough. I may not have achieved enlightenment, but I'm already halfway there!
I may not be Super Mum, but I'm a good mum. Children are resilient and for every short coming there is a flip side. I have been able to reassure and teach them things that I wouldn't have learnt if I hadn't suffered from anxiety and depression. Things that have taken me decades to learn!
My house is small and cluttered, but it's a cosy and friendly place and my kids friends like it here.
I constantly feel like I am not good enough at work, always too much to do yet still having to justify my time, always worrying about making a mistake. But the people that I help like me, they value my help and appreciate that I give from my heart's perspective rather than from targets and finances.
I could eat better, drink gallons of water, exercise more, do more housework, learn to meditate and do it every day, go out and make more friends... But given the circumstances I'm in, what I'm able to manage is definitely good enough. People may want more from me, but what they're getting will have to do!
The real question is, am I good enough for me?
The truth is that I'm always striving to improve, to learn how to make things better.
No one is perfect, there is no end point to reach. I'm all for not being too hard on myself, just a little tweak here and there as I go! So yeah, I guess that on the whole, who I am and how I live is good enough for me!
If I had to pick one small random thing, that is positive about me I'd go for "fun loving", what would you go for?
A Moodscope member.
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