Is it really a good idea to have any expectations?

14 Aug 2019

This is a question I posed to myself whilst waiting for my flight home. My sleep-deprivation undeniably sparked a pensive mood within me; a question that I asked myself after getting off the phone to my boyfriend.

What if we have a less-than-touching reunion? My anxious brain panicked. I had this idea, I suppose you could almost call it a fantasy, in my head of us reuniting at the airport. Would he give me a long, warm hug and a passionate kiss? Or would it be a quick hug and a peck on the cheek?

The thought of the latter happening filled me with dread, and despair. I didn't want that kind of reunion. Then again, if we set up idealistic, or even realistic, expectations in our heads, are we just setting ourselves up for failure?

The thing is, thinking about it made me worried. I knew that if he came to meet me and it was anything less than romantic and affectionate, that I'd be bitterly disappointed and possibly a bit resentful towards him. I don't want to feel that way; after all, it's not his fault if he doesn't meet the expectations that I set up for him in my head.

But... if not his fault, then whose? Is it mine for setting up any expectations in the first place? Or is it rather a case that no one at all is to blame?

On the other hand, surely it's good to have some expectations in life? Having hope for how something, or someone, will turn out enables us to have some awareness of what's coming. This way, we're not completely blindsided by that something (or someone).

And yet... we still get disappointed and frustrated when things don't pan out the way we hoped.

So... am I completely irrational? Or am I making a mountain out of a molehill?

I'm actually amazed at myself that I somehow managed to in-still a feeling of nervousness and dread in to our reunion. I didn't want it to be mediocre, or not special. I want the long bear-hug. I want the passionate kiss.

All in all, is it a good idea to set expectations?


A Moodscope member.

(foot note: our reunion at the airport was very sweet and affectionate!)

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. Posts and comments on the blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice.

Email us at to submit your own blog post!


Login or Sign Up to Comment and Read Comments