Does anyone else have this issue? When I first moved in to his house, and then we moved, the loft was emptied. I assumed it was all of it. It was just a third. The van we borrowed to move the stuff got stuck in the mud, we got threatened with breach of contract by our own solicitor as our friend was very late in coming to help us and stuff was still being spewed out at 5pm, our cut-off time. 

When we moved again from our first house in Scotland, it took us a full 7 days to get our stuff out, and we did it mainly by ourselves, but rented a storage container to “help” I guess around summer 2023, ready to move that September. Delays happened and we didn't move till January 2024. We still have the facility, half full. 

He loves buying stuff and no end of cameras have been bought, and magazines (I did dump a load wincing at the cost totted up roughly), and other things that now just sit there gathering dust. There are too many things. The garage is full, and my man's “man shed” is being extended so that (apparently) we can clear the storage facility but excuse after excuse is made. I'm not at my wits end any more because I am now jettisoning my own stuff. He is overwhelmed by jobs to do which I cannot do as they are all DIY related and some different things to do. 

There is a sports car to sell, the man shed job, a car port to build, a garage to tidy and empty, a bedroom to empty, a storage facility to empty, a fireplace to seal up (now that the gas has been disconnected), a pond to build, a wood shed to come into play, a train area (in the man shed) to set up, and some windbreakers to attach to the fence which will give us more privacy from the neighbours. 

His sister was an extreme hoarder and passed away, leaving her husband with a god awful mess to sort out. Suggestions or chats about all the jobs to do and going to the storage facility are met with reminder about overwhelm and how busy he has been (and yes I have asked him to do things for me so his stuff is put to the back of the pile). 

We moved up here to have an easier life and for both of us to do our hobbies and work part-time so all it needs is time putting aside but he is on the computer a lot. He also buys stuff to sell at a profit and is good at that. His dad was also a “collector” - in between a proper hoarder and a person who lives simply. 

I crave the house to be more empty but cannot discuss this with him and he is sentimental and wants to keep everything. Does this sound familiar? I love him to bits and am very patient but it's getting a bit silly now as we are just in our 60s and I don't want to leave all this mess for his daughter, like we were left with his 90 year old Dad's stuff – he literally kept everything. So much to go through and so so exhausting even with six of us doing it. I know if I was on my own, so much would go to the charity shop but I don't want to think about that.

Liz

A Moodscope member