Ninety Percent

11 Sep 2022
Bookmark

It’s been a rather unusual fortnight, hasn’t it? As The Room Above The Garage has so insightfully shared, the loss of The Queen has allowed us to revisit our feeling of individual losses even as we share in collective grief for a Monarch who has always been ‘there’ for us.

Mindset is such a core part of our experience of life. I have had a couple of events that were really important to me over the last two Sundays. Worry is my default position when I really care about something, so it’s been an ‘interesting’ time amplified by our collective sense of emotional disturbance over such massive change. The amazing thing is that both events went very well, and my health took an instant step in the right direction as if I’d taken a miracle cure. Once again, I wonder if Life is 90 percent about mindset, and 10 percent about all the other stuff.

Thomas Edison is reputed to have said, “Success is 10 percent inspiration and 90 percent perspiration.” Could we at Moodscope be as bold as to declare, “Wellbeing is 90 percent mindset, and 10 percent…” although I’m not sure what the 10 percent is.

Carl Jung taught insights that I still don’t really understand beyond the basics. He thought there was a Collective Unconscious – a phenomenon we all share. I’m feeling this with the loss of The Queen, and with the upheaval of a new Prime Minister, the uncertainty of our economic future, and the turmoil our sisters and brothers are facing around the globe.

However (whoever starts a new paragraph with ‘however’?) However, I believe the way forward is a Collective Mindset Shift. It is time for us to grieve with gratitude for what is passing away and what has passed – especially Who has passed. It is equally time for us to look forward in the hope of sculpting, orchestrating, creating a better future – collectively.

The two events I worried so much about ‘worked’ only because other people helped me enormously. Together we made each event better. The future chapters of Pakistan, UK, Ukraine, and each troubled Nation facing traumas too many to mention – our futures, and our future depend first upon the stories we tell about the future. Dr Martin Luther King Jr said it best when he said, “I have a dream…” and he went on to spell out a future that did not exist in the present. I think His Majesty, the King, will tell us stories of a better future. And we at Moodscope can do the same. Let us, collectively, tell a story of a memory of the future that’s yet to come, yet to be created, a future where we help one another at a deeper level than ever before… Come closer with an open heart.

Lex

A Moodscope member.

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. Posts and comments on the blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice.

Email us at support@moodscope.com to submit your own blog post!

Comments

Ach UK

Sept. 12, 2022, 4:48 a.m.

Dear Lex, What a lovely log. I feel your words reaching out and invoking reassurance. Together we stand, indeed. One of my snippets of hope is noticing the children around us. They are the future builders, let us tell them our dreams. XX Ach.

Reply

Lex

Sept. 12, 2022, 8:46 a.m.

Dear Ach, I, too, take much comfort in and from the children. Our art project over the summer holiday showed me how brightly shine each one's imagination. Give them the seed of an idea and the tools, and they finish the job - and better than I could have imagined. I think that was Churchill who said, "Give us the tools and we will finish the job." https://www.nationalchurchillmuseum.org/give-us-the-tools.html What we and our children and our children's children need now are steadfast leaders -driven by values - like Her Majesty and Churchill and then... ...and then I think if we give the children space, they will thrive in finishing the job. Lxx

Sarah yellow rose

Sept. 12, 2022, 5:38 a.m.

Hi Lex thank you for your great blog. I agree emotional health is so important x

Reply

Lex

Sept. 12, 2022, 8:49 a.m.

Thank you Sarah yellow rose (I love that name, by the way - we have had the most glorious 'Lemon Sorbet' roses in the Kitchen Garden at Kingston Lacy this year.) I hope that one day, Moodscope will publish a guide to Emotional Health. We have the experience! Lx

Sarah yellow rose

Sept. 12, 2022, 5:38 a.m.

Hi Lex thank you for your great blog. I agree emotional health is so important x

Reply

Cathy

Sept. 12, 2022, 6:19 a.m.

I agree Lex, that mindset and working together as so important and often overlooked.

Reply

Lex

Sept. 12, 2022, 8:51 a.m.

Hi Cathy - perhaps it's because Mindset is 'invisible' even though you can see the signs. (I mistyped 'signs' there as 'sighs' - now, isn't that the truth!) If all of us found a single person to work with today, like the buddy system, I'm certain our collective mental wellbeing would take a visible upturn. Lx

Cathy

Sept. 12, 2022, 6:19 a.m.

I agree Lex, that mindset and working together as so important and often overlooked.

Reply

Jul

Sept. 12, 2022, 6:57 a.m.

Hi Lex. i do believe your writing is getting better and better if that's possible as it's always been petty inspirational. I particularly like your words "Worry is my default position when I really care about something....". I have never associated worry with caring about something or people. I may come back to the main gist of your blog later. Food for thought. Memories of the future!. Jul ***

Reply

Lex

Sept. 12, 2022, 8:54 a.m.

Thank you, Jules. I sincerely believe the stroke flipped a switch in the way I perceive the worlds outside and inside and, even more interestingly, the way I feel about 'everything'. Moodscope has been like the backbone of my experience for so long travelling together with so many of you, that I think we're growing together. To hear that this is coming out in the writing is most reassuring and encouraging. Lxxx

Dragonfly

Sept. 12, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Lex that’s quite incredible to hear. One could almost forget you’ve had a stroke (particularly with my atrocious memory!) as your writing is as strong and searching as ever; if not more so, as Jul says. What an outcome for something so precarious. Wishing you well in your continuing recovery x

Bearofliddlebrain

Sept. 12, 2022, 7:23 a.m.

Morning Lex, Like Jul, the "worry is my default…’ is what stood out for me - I am the same. I will worry for Britain! I have been like that this week as we have had three sets of visitors and I know I will be the same this weekend as we have more! All seems to have come at the same time so the worry is magnified - so intense - when really I shouldn’t be worrying - they are all friends…but the worry comes in the preparations, the silly things like the weather - do we eat inside, outside - different silly things but they manifest themselves into more worry - I want my friends and family to relax and enjoy, I care about them and want to put them at their ease so that they don’t have to worry!! First world problems of course, but that doesn’t stop my poor liddle brain from working overtime! I too think your writing has become deeper - and cannot fathom how you manage to delve into subjects and find inspirational things out of the daily life we sometimes trudge through! Mindset is important. I have to challenge my own mindset this week as I ‘deal’ or ‘cope’ with some people who feel justified in speaking out against others, me included, regarding events happening around the death of the Queen. Cliques of people who stick together - ugh social media! So, what to do? (shouldn’t start a sentence with So!)….. I have a dream that these people will see that everyone has the right to speak and act as they see fit under the circumstances; that there is no need for sniping when one acts differently to another - that’s what makes a community come together and no one way through grief is the ‘right’ way. (But I know I will worry til this has blown over!!!) Love and Bear hugs x x x

Reply

Lex

Sept. 12, 2022, 9:01 a.m.

Ah, dear Bear... I'm So happy you started a sentence with 'So'! Seriously, though, my hope and desire is that you (and I and other Moodscopers) somehow learn to enjoy the preparation. This is a repeated conversation I've been having with my closest friends who have supported me through the two big events I hosted. I said to them, "I wish I could enjoy the preparation and build up instead of getting so worried about them." You and I have form! By this, I mean we've done this all before successfully - and we have the evidence. So (see what I did there?), instead of waiting until after the visits to realise everything really went rather well, may you find a new place in your heart to ENJOY the preparation! [And may you find the grace and strength to deal with more difficult issues as you cope with those who have a narrower view of Life, the Universe, and Everything. Sending strength and a Bear Hug (gently, of course), L x x x

Teg

Sept. 12, 2022, 5:23 p.m.

Hi Mrs Bear/Lex Surely we must come to a time in our lives when we think" I have done this many times before and my success rate is very high( might even be 90%!" ). Therefore it follows that when you are at the planning stage there is a very strong probability of another success. Self confidence is justified so "worry" can take a back seat. Txx

Bearofliddlebrain

Sept. 13, 2022, 5:32 a.m.

Yes, Teg, that’s true - thank you. I do wonder if it’s an in-built thing for me!! Bear hugs x

Orangeblossom

Sept. 12, 2022, 7:50 a.m.

Many thanks for our inspirational & aspirational blog Lex. I have made a note of what you say. Continuing to read ‘Worth’ by Bharti Dhir & find it inspirational. I may finish it by the end of the week. She struggled with all sorts of issues but self-acceptance & forgiveness was important in leading to growth.

Reply

Lex

Sept. 12, 2022, 9:07 a.m.

I'm in 100% alignment with you, Orangeblossom (and Bharti). Self-acceptance & forgiveness are essentials. We've just had the 30th Anniversary Swanage Folk Festival. Oh the costumes - not just of the Morris Dancing sides but also the glamour of the Slovac dancers! Visitors to the festival were also gaily clad in glad rags (and tie-died fabrics) even with our sense of loss. Here is a group of people - a tribe - that wear their self-acceptance on their sleeve... and more! I felt strangely at home! Ordering the book now... Lx

The Gardener

Sept. 12, 2022, 8:46 a.m.

Thank you again Lex for making us think! And positively, despite the 'worry' element. I don't THINK I worry: events are either beyond my control or happen so quickly have not time to worry. Watching a great friend making herself ill with worry, all outside her control, and her very loving husband looking on but can't help. I suffer from impotence and frustration, and a fair dash of cynicism. Doing a course on Communication on Climage change, Glasgow University. It is telling us how to communicate to our 'audience', presenting the case. There are three takers. I am in danger of getting like my Ma, ignoring everything because 'They' have to sort it out. The 'They' now are governors of all the countries in the world, and the ubiquitous organisastions - but 'they' do not seem to have teeth. I do wish more Moodscopes existed - am on FB but get lots of useless info passed on. I HAVE to accept social media, find it scary, should be a power for good for communication, but scary - people can say horrid things without let or hindrance. It's a beautiful day, go and draw comfort that I AM a good gardener! xx

Reply

Lex

Sept. 12, 2022, 9:15 a.m.

What a powerfully uplifting last line, dear Gardener. Yes, YOU ARE a good gardener! That one phrase I find so rich in metaphor in addition to the literal truth. One of our local garden centres decorates a passageway with beautiful prints on which there are inspiring quotes. My favourite from Marcus Tullius Cicero, "If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need." I would argue that if you have these things AND a passion to learn AND a talent for horticulture, you are to be envied (in the best sense). Lxx

Valerie

Sept. 12, 2022, 9:54 a.m.

I am trying to change my mindset away from constant worrying.I have been having a lot of digestive pain,and I am sure it is that second brain in the gut that is responsible. I shall avoid Dr.Google,the bringer of fear,and seek cure in my food. Excellent blog Lex.I have never been to your part of the world,but I keep hearing how many beautiful places you have near you..You are blessed to live there. ***

Reply

Oli

Sept. 12, 2022, 10:48 a.m.

Anxiety and worry always fascinate me Val in how stress actually gets under the skin. How does stress affect the body? For some people their stress makes them prone to headaches; others, joint and muscle pain; others, digestive problems. There are a lot of people with IBS for whom stress has got under the skin in the area of their guts. I've got a talent for somatising stress and for me it comes out in a particular way. It's always important to make sure nothing typically "medical" is going on. Funnily enough I'm on a lunch break right now at a Royal Society of Medicine webinar on Psychosomatic issues! There's a lot of it about :-) xx

Lex

Sept. 12, 2022, 11:02 a.m.

Hi Valerie, I hope you get both brains working together for you and not against you or against one another. If you come to Dorset, I'd gladly be your tour guide. Lxxx

Valerie

Sept. 12, 2022, 11:25 a.m.

It would be great if you could share any insights gained today in a future blog Oli. ***

Valerie

Sept. 12, 2022, 11:26 a.m.

Some visits to historical pubs,for research purposes of course Lex! ***

Bearofliddlebrain

Sept. 12, 2022, 3:45 p.m.

Yeah, I need to visit those as well!! Ha ha ha!!

Oli

Sept. 12, 2022, 10:40 a.m.

The important thing for me Lex is to always keep the power of mindset rational and plausible. I see an over-representation of people who believe having the right mindset will make anything possible for them. They believe something like “Well-being is 100% mindset.” I can see your 90% suggestion is more circumspect. I suspect 90% is a figure of speech too; sometimes, for some things, it will be closer to 1%. It’s good to have an idea of the confidence one has in one’s beliefs. Thanks for the blog!

Reply

Lex

Sept. 12, 2022, 11:01 a.m.

Thanks, Oli - your seminar sounds fascinating. Covey said, "Begin with the end in mind." I'd be inclined to say, "Begin with Mindset." That would save the 90% debate! Brains and body and body brains as you and Valerie are saying... it's wonderful and a pain all at the same time! Lx

Teg

Sept. 12, 2022, 2:26 p.m.

Hi Lex Another well written thought provoking Post. Who am I to doubt your 90% estimate of mindset. I think we can all agree it is a very high figure. The way we think about the good and bad things in our lives will largely determine how we feel. The good news is that I think we can alter our mindsets. Not in any dramatic fashion but gradually by learning more about ourselves. Did your two Sundays that turned out to be a lot better than anticipated teach you a lesson? How about "Don't always believe what you think". Your mindset was leading you astray before those two days. As to the other 10%, luck and fate may have some influence but a big factor must be our environment including relationships with others. We are entering a new era with new Monarch and PM. A fresh start is surely an opportunity to turn our mindsets to positive feelings. Thanks Lex. Teg

Reply

Lex

Sept. 12, 2022, 4:09 p.m.

Onwards and upwards, dear Teg! Mind... Set... Go!!! Lx

The Gardener

Sept. 12, 2022, 5:39 p.m.

Very late PS, been glued to TV. My course on Communicating for Climate change asks why people do NOT communicate, get involved. One reason 'Finite pool of worry, people have limited number of things they can worry about'. I can't agree with this. Valerie above says she is a constant worrier. A friend I have mentioned before has worried herself into excema and IBS (very common reaction). Her husband is loyal and loving, but he says take one worry away from her and she will find another. Light relief, if you ever get a chance to read/see the skit of Joyce Grenfell's 'A Terrible Worrier' it is so amusing, and, so apt.

Reply

Lex

Sept. 12, 2022, 5:51 p.m.

Got it! https://youtu.be/hKoRtqnEits

Lex

Sept. 12, 2022, 6:02 p.m.

She's a genius Lxxx

Anne-Marie

Sept. 13, 2022, 8:17 a.m.

Great post with some great threads in it. I particularly liked the "Wellbeing is 90% mindset and 10% ....." - I wonder if the 10% is simply "what happens" - or as someone else said, luck or fate? We can't control everything but we can control some things, and can make "wise decisions" to make our dream/better outcome more likely to happen. Just a quick example - when I started running a year or two ago I was lucky that the weather was always decent whenever I went out for a run. I worried though that if the weather was bad I would use that as an excuse not to run, I would "not run" for several days if it was raining and then I would never return to running. (Yes I am a talented catastrophizer!). I just thought that I was always at the mercy of the weather and this could deteriorate and all my gains would be lost. I was talking to my (very fit) son about it and he said something that changed my mindset - "Mum, I actually really like running in the rain, it feels great" Well! I had NEVER entertained the idea of running in the rain being in any way a positive experience - and guess what - he was RIGHT. I now embrace running in all weathers - it is just a different experience. Mindset allows me to accept and make wise decisions to adapt for all weathers - rather than taking the easy way out and not running in certain weathers and eventually failing. I also like the Martin Luther King comment. It was "I have a DREAM" - it wouldn't really have worked with "I have nightmares" would it? The choice there was where to put the emphasis, the energy.

Reply

Login or Sign Up to Comment