People who have read my blogs will know that I like asking questions — and trying to answer them — both online and in real life. Questions help me make sense of myself. When I cannot work out why I am behaving in a certain way, I ask. When life feels too difficult, I go looking for answers.

But lately, I seem to be struggling even to find the questions, let alone the answers. I know this confusion will pass, it usually does, but that does not make it easy to write about while I am in the middle of it. I feel tired. My energy is low. And alongside the emotions, I am also dealing with physical problems that are painful, embarrassing, and limiting.

At times, these problems make it hard to leave home, get into a car, travel to see my grandchildren, or use public transport. They shrink my world in ways that are difficult to explain.

Then I remind myself: if I cannot be open and honest here on Moodscope, where can I be? Moodscopers are supportive, kind, and understanding. Sometimes they offer comfort; sometimes they offer a different perspective. Both can be exactly what is needed.

My difficulty with being this honest is that I know many people here are facing far greater challenges with their health or their lives than I am. That makes me feel guilty for speaking about my own struggles. And yet, I understand now that pain does not have to be compared. Maybe writing this is my way of gently reminding myself of that.

It is ironic as I am known for my questions but now I am wondering if I need a question. If people reflect on what I have written that is welcome.

One Question: Do you ever feel awkward revealing your struggles even in such a supportive community as Moodscope? Why or Why not?

Leah 

A Moodscope member