In the last century, I learned a beautiful concept from Time Manager International (TMI): to choose to be a Pearl Fisher! The inspirational Claus Møller, founder of TMI, teaches two choices in life: to be a Pearl Fisher or to be a Pearl Crusher.
Will You Choose to Fish for Pearls, or to Crush Pearls?
The beauty of natural pearls hides their unpleasant beginnings. A pearl is formed in response to adversity and irritation.
Pearls are formed more often in response to a parasite rather than the proverbial grain of sand. This fits the message even better than a grain of sand. The pearl secretes a fluid called 'nacre' around the foreign body, as a defence mechanism. Layer of layer builds up until a beautiful pearl is discernible.
When we manufacture pearls, a beautiful description is used: a 'Cultured' Pearl. I feel we're being rather posh today, aren't we? It takes three years for a cultured pearl to reach a sufficient size for it to be harvested.
I'm sure the moral of the story is clear: an irritant, even a parasite in our lives, can act as a catalyst to create something of beauty, if we have a creative response.
Is there an 'irritant' in your life? Perhaps this irritant is a person, a person who is so demanding that they might even, on a bad day, be described as a 'parasite'!
Let's learn from the Wisdom of the Oyster's creative response. Let's cover the irritant in our own 'nacre' and give it time. It takes at least three years to see the value emerge.
Ask yourself, "How can I turn this relationship into a thing of beauty?"
...the Pearl Crusher
A Pearl Fisher, then, is someone who creates a pearl out of every irritant and parasitological relationship! A Pearl Fisher creates value out of trouble.
But what of the Pearl Crusher? The Pearl Crusher does the opposite. The Pearl Crusher finds adversity and irritation in every pearl.
No matter how wonderful the day or experience, the person who has chosen to be a Pearl Crusher, will find a problem with it.
I suspect we have all indulged in pearl-crushing behaviour from time to time. Some people, however, are professional pearl-crushers. Some have a black-belt in the marital art of pearl-crushing! You know the type... whatever you try to do for them, they find fault. No matter how brilliant your idea, they'll find ways to suggest how it will fail.
In other blogs, I've suggested these people should be removed from our lives. But what if we cannot 'remove' them (legally, at least!)? With those parasites and irritants who are here to stay, let's get nacred! I'm pretty sure I've just made that word up, but it tickled me!
There are many actions we can take in response to these thoughts. The first is to catch ourselves quickly when we indulge in pearl-crushing thoughts and behaviours. Stop it!
Another is to learn to become a Pearl Fisher - to find value in every irritation.
There is a better way.
A Moodscope member.