I have re-drawn my boundaries.
Last year two people I thought were my friends, whom I had held an open door for, just bailed out of my life. The shock was long-lasting, the pain deep.
With help I cleared my home ready to move, buyer found I didn't have the mental capacity to follow through. I stayed, made changes and committed myself to the place where I live.
Time moved on. Both people have asked to come back into my life, one with tears for himself, one with questions of what went wrong between us. My heart, normally loving and forgiving, is wary. So I am sticking to my boundary, my rules, for me, for my stability, for my sanity. I will share a drink or catch up but I won't be drawn back into the listening for hours whilst they work through their problems at my table.
My point is that I can find nothing that I did that caused all this other than I held too soft a boundary in the first place. Too keen to be kind to everyone but myself. It's hard to toughen up.
Now I am more realistic, I hold back more to consider how my decision may affect me. Will I be happier, more settled? Who knows, but I will be clearer, more sure of my position and hopefully stronger and saner in my dealings with the world.
As I say to all my friends on their journeys, Go well! And its ok to have a boundary, just be aware that I have one too.
A Moodscope member.