I had never been able to understand how people can get depressed until I got depression myself. It took me a couple of years to realise it and accept it. But I definitely cannot deny it anymore. Strangely, when I started accepting the fact, I felt less anxious.
I'd been living abroad for 3 years, away from my family, boyfriend and close friends. Having to deal with everyday life alone and deserted was a hell of a time sometimes. I was so low and things weren't good. But I recently realised that I'm not alone.
One of the worst situations was my relationship with my boyfriend. I had shut myself off from everyone and it was particularly hard to talk to him. I finally confessed that I felt depressed but this didn't help. Later, like a released river, I told him everything that had annoyed me over the past 2 years. Even though I felt relieved and felt a little bit better, I didn't find the understanding I was expecting from him. His lack of understanding of my depression was devastating to me so I ended our relationship.
So, I decided to talk to my family and close friends. And there was a ray of light for me. I found so much understanding and love that I felt that there is hope again.
My heart is calmer now. I read a lot about self-help and taking small steps everyday in overcoming my depression. Having so much love from my family and friends makes me feel that I am not crazy and I know that I will manage to find myself again.
A Moodscope member.
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