Sex is a pain

22 Jun 2022

I wrote a blog some years ago about my libido.To be precise, my lack of libido. Having been quite an affectionate lady in my time, I found myself regarding the thought of a bit of slap and tickle with dismay. I don’t mean I find it repugnant as such, just deeply boring. Until your hormones wither away you don’t realise how much of our romantic attractions are down to Mother Nature urging us to breed. I found every time we did it, I would think that was me off the hook for a while. The intervals in between get longer, then with a bit of luck it fizzles out altogether - Result!


Once upon a time, it was perfectly acceptable for older women to find sex irritating. Not just older women either. I can recall hearing people say that after having babies women would not be so keen.


Today, in the same way that we are urged to keep fit, look good for our age, keep the brain active, we are being told to keep going sexually. Now I also keep reading articles about reviving sex after a long time.   


Even after years of increased apathy, it is apparently possible to rediscover the excitement and lust of those early days. The advice given is just cringe-making. Stroke each others hair (Spock is bald as a coot) Touch each other in a non-sexual way while naked, tell each other what your secret fantasies are. Dear God, what a horrific idea, can you imagine how that could end up?


There was an article the other day, another woman journalist blathering on about the best sex ever since she reached 60. In the same paper a survey showed that 25% of people in the UK have severe chronic pain. It is reasonable to suppose that the percentage gets higher with the passing years. Picture it, two people sitting nervously waiting for the Viagra/Neurofen/wine to kick in. How erotic.


People are also not allowed to be bored with sex with the same person, year in year out. Spock and I  have been together so long we are more like a very argumentative brother and sister. Once you start to think of yourselves that way it becomes just a little bit off doesn’t it? Just saying.


Obviously some people decide to cheat on their partner to get round this problem. This rarely ends well. Better by far to find something that keeps you both happy and takes the place of sex. For us this has been Netflix, for others it could be golf, tennis, bird watching.


Speaking of birds, we have a thick hedge with Dunnocks nesting in it. I don’t know much about them, so was surprised to see so many of them going back and forth. Last week I was in the kitchen when I saw what appeared to be one Dunnock attacking another, violently stabbing at the rear end. I was about to go out to intervene when they both shot into the hedge.


Fascinated I Googled. Oh dear, I am so glad I did not go out. The females are polyandrous, but because each male wants to pass on his genes they do this thing with their beaks to try to er.. remove all traces of the chap who was there before them. All the males feed the female, each hoping  the babies are his. Isn’t she one crafty little minx? Bless her, no menopause for her, two flipping years of this then she dies.


Now, what’s new on Netflix?


A Moodscope member.

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