It’s started. The great, inflated, indefatigable me is back. From nowhere. The I-can-do-anything-I-want, and quickly at that! Money? Hey, just use it... Spend, spend, spend. Dozens of ideas. Tripping over themselves. Must do/send/clear/write/buy... I half-finish a grand clear-out... clothes strewn everywhere... mañana! It sooo doesn’t matter.
BUT... the indications are there... bipolar is raising its ugly head again, the tell-tale signs of erratic sleep, and erratic everything else. Dangerous driving, well... potentially dangerous, because my mind is so alive! Focused on doing, achieving, giving away and... lots more. The power of it!
So, why are these not altogether good signs? Because I know, in my heart of hearts, that my behaviour is giving me false readings. I think others are being small-minded, stupid, too cautious, have lost their sense of humour, but actually it’s ME who is out of step. I am TOO alive, too loud… and will ultimately slip into dangerous, murky, depressive waters as this high cannot be sustained. It’s exhausting! And my emotions are all over the place.
So what to do about it? That’s what I was asking myself this morning, as a sort of mania gripped me. How do I apply the brakes, and stop this brain from derailing?
Have you experienced this yourself, and how do you deal with yourself, when you know you’re on too much of a rollercoaster - more of a runaway train!?
A Moodscope member.
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