The Optician pops in a piece of glass and asks calmly, “Are the letters clearer like this, or (as she turns the lens) like this?”
One option helps you see the world around you in greater clarity, the other creates fuzz.
The lenses through which we perceive the world can change at any moment. A life threatening health issue, mental health shifts, ageing, a new friend, a fresh hobby, travel to a new country… all these change the ideal prescription for you. A mind stretched by a new idea can never return to its former dimensions!
What if you could choose your lenses and prescription?
Here are three great lenses to try on for clarity.
1) Towards or away from. Some folks like to focus on moving towards more of what they’d like. Others are moving away from what they’d like to avoid. Guess which one is better for your mental health? And, under Covid, guess which one is better for your physical health!
2) Match or mismatch. I find mismatchers exhausting. No matter what you suggest, they find a point to disagree with – that’s a mismatch. Matchers look for areas of agreement. Mismatchers often see themselves as realists, little knowing what energy vampires they are. Begin with the lens of matching as much as possible with everyone you meet. Then, if there is a fatal flaw in their thinking, reveal this to them from a foundation of an accepting and affirming relationship. Some people call this, “Pacing and Leading.” The idea is that you match someone’s view of the world and thus meet them in their model of reality. Once you’ve understood the way they see the world, and have thereby strengthened your relationship, then, and only then, you can suggest that there may be other options to explore.
3) Possibility vs Necessity. This is a fascinating one in times of trial. My lovely lady sees life through the lens of necessity. I’d like to ‘spoil’ her with treats but when she’s wearing the Necessity Specs being overly generous is seen as ‘wasteful’ and thus a punishment. If I bought her a Rolex, she wouldn’t wear it. Before those of us who wear the Possibility Specs get too excited, we’re pretty dangerous too! I see possibility everywhere… including where it doesn’t exist! If my net worth was £700 billion, this wouldn’t be a problem, but when you’re on a budget, being too positive is not necessarily the best option! Balance begins where we consider possibility and necessity.
Nevertheless, I believe it is more joyous to see the world through lenses that magnify the opportunities and possibilities.
My recommendations for a new prescription pair of specs is thus: move towards more of what you’d prefer, seek to agree with others’ views as much as your values and ethics and intelligence permit, and look for the possibilities in every experience!
A Moodscope member.