The voice said it’s dark, you’re sad and you’re sleepy, you won’t exercise. I looked at the voice and saw the sneer. So I exercised gently keeping eye contact.
The voice said you didn’t do much, it won’t help, it was too gentle. So I ate breakfast, did some more, and lapped the voice who was still sitting down.
The voice said your mother is winding you up, you’ll always be angry. So I sanded a chair, felt the smoothness of the grain, dusted it off and smiled.
The voice said you won’t finish the menus you said you’d do. You haven’t the time. So I timed myself and did 25 minutes on them.
The voice said cooking will take ages, you’re tired, you’ll have pizza. So I had beans on toast. With cheese and Worcestershire sauce.
The voice said you’re going to cry. You don’t stand up for yourself, you won’t say what you mean. So I released some tears and said no, it’s you, not me.
Earphones found, I put on The Listening Project. And the voice fell away.
The room above the garage
A Moodscope member
[p.s. If you’ve not heard The Listening Project, it was a BBC Radio 4 project where, over 10 years, short conversations between two people were recorded, broadcast and then stored in The British Library. It can be charming, it is very interesting and an easy listen, even when your mind is heavy. You can find it by searching for it on the BBC website, or on BBC Sounds, or on the Podcasts app. If anybody has trouble finding it, I will help. An episode from 2012 is here https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/b01f6bf4]
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