I know that because I am so tired most of the time and lack self confidence as a result, I allow people to walk all over me.
When I sleep well, I am much stronger mentally.
So I think over the years, some people close to me have got used to seeing me as a push over, albeit someone who will always try to help and to go to if help is needed, but someone who will take whatever life throws at her on the chin without speaking out in her defence, someone who is ready to blame her own behaviour for the bad behaviour in others.
Now this may seem a very negative picture of myself.
But this is how others see me or rather they must do. Not many I hasten to add but those who really do take advantage of me now and have done so in the past.
When I've slept I feel angry at how defenceless I have become and tell myself this mustn't continue but then I'll have a bad spell of insomnia and am back to square one.
I try to make others' lives easy and make allowances for their behaviour towards me. I know deep down that they are the weak ones but how can I show them without a terrible fall out?
It's a new year. I wonder if I'll be strong enough not to take anymore nonsense from those who choose to bully me. We shall see!
"... and one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you"!!
Does anyone recognise themselves in my description of myself?
A Moodscope member.
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