"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting" EE Cummings
This quote is one I regularly return to, when I find that I have said something and then thought - what was I doing?
How many of us behave differently (even tell lies to ingratiate ourselves) and then question ourselves after we have left a meeting/a coffee/a party/a conversation?
How many of us started this at school to 'try' to be liked by our peers – even the teacher? And are we still doing it with our 'boss'/our partner/our peers/even our children?
We are bombarded each and every day with adverts ('because your worth it'), news stories, conversations, politics (with a big and small Pp), which seek to live in a black & white, right & wrong, brittle, short term, ego driven, Newtonian world.
This was a world which emerged in the industrial revolution, when there were new and definite answers to everything and the proven processes kept us all 'right', through repeatable methodologies. Today, we realise that the old one simple solution, is totally unfit for purpose in our now modern, constantly changing, rapidly evolving, interdependent and complex world.
Today when I hear people talking about simple solutions, I often say 'there is a simple answer to every complex problem, and it's wrong!'
From invading Iraq – an endless stream of wrong 'outcomes' – just the same, but on a different 'scale', as invading someone else's privacy and social media… we can see that many people, even organisations and governments, have given up their moral compass, for short term gain.
Schools, colleges and universities, attempt to grow yet more competence (IQ - qualifications), when we actually require stronger characters (EQ - qualities) to help stabilise our families and societies.
To stand true to your own values – regardless of what anyone else states – is very challenging, as many of us seek friendship, or only feel good if we are liked by others.
That however, as I have said before is about doing the work through 'inscaping' not constantly escaping to get 'things' that supposedly make us confident or even worse, supposedly happy!
Mental health is often just about how we feel about ourselves.
Feelings are far more important than facts - our reality is emotional and subjective not rational and objective. We seek meaning before money...or do we?
So why do we let others have such an effect on us?
Can you be OK about yourself, whether someone praises or blames you?
A Moodscope member.