To fear or not to fear?

24 Aug 2022

“Fear doesn’t travel well; just as it can warp judgment, its absence can diminish memory’s truth.“

I thought about this quote by Arthur Miller, author of The Crucible, and it brought back memories of my daughter studying the text for G.C.S.E. It spooked her then. It would still affect me now!

Fear is hard to define though.

I once heard an acronym : F. E. A. R. = false evidence appearing real. It stayed with me, since at the time, I was fearful of many things… or should I say of people. Because looking back, it wasn’t the situations themselves I feared, but the anticipation of them (Would I be up to them, would I be derided?) and in actual fact, on the day, the fear often left me. I found the person or people concerned more approachable than I’d imagined. My prejudging had done me no favours.

Fear for me DOES warp my judgement: people I feared, for no good reason except that they held the power, were not better than me. I just thought they were. I wished I’d known that, as it could’ve saved me agonies. With the confidence I have learnt to have in myself over seven decades, I would have responded “Please don’t raise your voice to me” to anyone trying it on. In fact, I said this at the weekend to my seven year old great-niece, with immediate effect. She was disarmed.

How do you face your fears? Do you agonise, and in your mind run through a sort of dress rehearsal of the event, as I used to? Or have you learnt to be zen, or calm, or confident about your abilities and to stand up for yourself as an equal to more or less anybody?


A Moodscope member.

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