30 Sep 2019

Why not? is often the answer to that. But today I wondered if we could look at 'why' just a little. If we over analyse 'why' then we might become morose and miserable. Please don't dwell on the deep 'why' today. A little 'why' can be useful.

You probably know I live with three teenagers. Around 7pm of any evening I am often to be found in the thick of the crazy hours 4-9pm. The time when everyone needs, often wildly different things at different times. Often it goes - car pick up, emotional dump and drowning, dinner, answer door, hug, car pick up, more emotionals, possibly some grumping, answer door, dinner, football drop, dinner, hockey drop, dinner, ignore door, ignore a couple of phone calls, work drop, round to collect drop one, start kitchen clean up, collect drop two halfway through the clean up, return to Vesuvius style kit load outside washing machine, put on load 1/47, lay out breakfast, lay out things for packed lunches, "no spare shoelaces, try Sellotape", are we cleaned up yet?, Oh supper has begun, let's do recycling, is that rain, what verruca?, that leg didn't hurt a hour ago, damn the washing is out, am I shouting? I think I am. I AM SHOUTING. And I say "I AM NOT SHOUTING AT YOU, YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG I AM JUST TIRED AND I AM JUST SHOUTING.

The 'why' is important here. I will be shouting because I am tired and frustrated. The day will have started long ago and it will have reached a crescendo. The point in the opera when the lady is emoting her everything and the audience wants to cry itself inside out, that bit. And its important that the three teenagers understand it's not them. They are just living and breathing and taking their opportunities as I want them to do. But that they know the 'why' of why I'm shouting is very, very important. I'm very lucky that at least one of them often moulds their body around my back and puts an arm around, and I know they understand.

Just like I understood tonight when I had my head bitten off from the shoulders. She was tired. Just like her mum. She shouted. Just like her mum. And it was ok because I knew it wasn't me. It was, but not really.

Knowing 'why' is sometimes very, very useful and it's a word which can help us throw up all manner of things. No need to delve into the big why, just focus on the little why.

I love saying a word so much it sounds weird. Whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy.

Score time. I will if you will.

Love from

The room above the garage

A Moodscope member.

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