This blog has been brewing for a while. I started it in April, then had another go in July, and now this is my third, and final, attempt. Lol. Sometimes, I get frustrated with myself for not just bashing out what I want to say in one go and being done with it, especially as each time I put the blog down and come back to it I end up giving it a major overhaul. Having said that, I love writing. Taking a blank page and filling it with words is soothing and cathartic. Writing is my therapy.
I have been a member of Moodscope for 12 years. Like a lot of people, I stumbled across the site when I was at a low ebb in my life. Up until then, I had been struggling with manic depression and tended to see suicide as the only solution to my problems. It was impossible to contemplate alternative and less dramatic options.
When I joined Moodscope, I would flip the cards and record my scores diligently, every day. Using the tool to monitor my moods played a big part in helping me to manage emotional turbulence. Admittedly, it took time, but it is safe to say that today life rarely derails me to the extent that it once did. Taking the test enabled me to identify the triggers which sent me down the rabbit hole, and after decades of depression, understanding my behaviour helped to put me on the road to recovery.
Nowadays, it’s the Moodscope blog that keeps me ticking along. Reading about other members and their lives fills me with a sense of belonging. Sharing our stories, albeit through the medium of writing, has the same impact as a group therapy session. I feel less alone. Suffice it to say, the blog has become a staple of my daily self-care routine, along with my football podcasts. I live abroad, and it is the best way to keep up to date with all the results and gossip surrounding my team, Crystal Palace FC. Their struggle to maintain elite status in the English Premier League each season provides a welcome distraction from the trials and tribulations of my own existence.
When life takes a turn for the worse, as it often does, I also take solace in reading inspirational quotes which I have copied into a little notebook. One of my favorites is, “When you’re going through hell, keep going.” (Winston Churchill)
This time last year, I was diagnosed with stage II triple-negative breast cancer. Three surgical procedures, 16 rounds of chemo, and 5 weeks of radiotherapy later, I am now in remission and my hair is starting to grow back.
All in all, it is a minor miracle to reach the end of this blog. As if by magic, it will now wing its way across the information superhighway and into your inboxes.
Writing is my therapy. What’s yours?
With love and gratitude,