Friday afternoon and I got my work done, deadline made. Kids were in school. I looked to the dog: ‘Come on, let’s go for a walk by the sea.’
We jumped in the car, parked, trotted over to the beach and walked along the shore. People swimming. Families paddling. Couples smooching. I didn’t bring a bag or money. Just me, the dog, his lead and poo bags, my phone, the car and house keys…
Nooooooo! I wasn’t holding the keys anymore. (But I was holding a full poop bag!) Where were my keys? Me and the now-reluctant-dog retraced our steps searching for the keys amongst the pebbles, sand and seaweed.
These were some of the thoughts that went through my head -
‘You’re such an eejit.’
‘How did you not notice?’
‘Did you not hear them drop?’
‘Can you do anything right?’
‘This was supposed to be a nice, quick walk - look at you now.’
‘This doesn’t happen to anyone else.’
'I must look so stupid muttering and looking down at the sand.'
‘What if there’s something wrong with me? A sign of early dementia or something else weird?’
‘Mum was right - I’d lose my head if it wasn’t screwed on.’
Etc etc etc...
Just over an hour later, I collected my car keys from the local Garda station. I was still calling myself all kinds of foolish in my head. But a friend said these words to me -
‘Everyone loses their keys.’
‘You handled it very well. You rang the kids. You rang me. You made a plan.’
‘You had a hidden house key so you could still get into your home.’
‘You had a spare car key in a safe place in your home.’
‘You rang the guards.’
‘The guard complimented you on having a distinctive keyring for easy identification.’
Deep breaths. Everyone has mini emergencies. Everyone has mini dramas. We all make mistakes. When things go awry, we make a plan and we cope.
I want to stop these miserable, negative voices in my head telling me I’m an eejit and doing it all wrong. How dare they!!
My new mantra: I’m a good enough mother. I’m a good enough human being. I’m doing my bloomin’ best. We all are…
Salt Water Mum
A Moodscope member
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