I have lived for many years between highs and lows. It was years before I identified these, thanks to good friends who had the courage to be honest with me. One once said "I find you easier when you're depressed any day" and I had always thought how being outward and energetic was so much easier for friends to deal with.
I learnt that some friends could cope whilst they were single but not once they had a family, my up energy disturbing the routine of their lives, already difficult with small children.
I've learnt that friends have their time with me and it's ok if they need to take space.
I've learnt to read my own behaviour and take myself to quieter places when my energy runs high.
I've learnt to phone the samaritans for support, not just on extreme days.
Through commitment to counselling I can reflect and make good decisions. I have learnt to take responsibility for myself and my illness.
A friend asked if I could take a pill that would take my illness away, would I. I replied "I don't know, because this is who I am, where I am and what I am and that is a decision I don't have to consider today."
For today I have learnt enough to get by, may be tomorrow will be quiet or have a new strong learning that the world and it's reality brings. For now I have learnt enough to get by today.
A Moodscope member.
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