Today I am not bringing you my own words but the words a friend of mine wrote last week. I have her permission to share them here.
"Like so many of my generation, I was raised to be a good girl; to feel that I should able to do anything and everything if only I put my mind to it. The feeling still remains and rubs me raw when I don’t succeed.
On a good day I am incredibly effective and get so much done. I can handle everything; can do everything. The next day I won’t even get out of bed.
On a good day I can focus and have fruitful conversations. I can update myself on the outside world; take part in everyday life. On a bad day I retreat into reading: 5 books a week, and cry about the chaos in my head as I try and fail to get my thoughts in order.
On a good day I can enjoy family, talk to friends, enjoy a cup of coffee, A bad day is grey, and nothing engages, or tastes or matters.
On a good day I can handle the fact that I can’t work with the only thing I really wanted to work with. On a bad day it overwhelms me.
On a good day, I think that even recurring depression can be dealt with and that I can cope with a relapse. On a bad day I do not think I can live.
So, what kind of day is today? I don’t know. I’m trying to squeeze my whole life into the good days.
The important thing is that I’m still here to have those good days."
I think my friend’s words will resonate with many.
We sometimes feel we are so alone, yet there are others feeling that too. We are isolated, yet together in our isolation.
We might take some small comfort in that.
On a good day, at least.
A Moodscope member.