This year I decided for my mental health's sake to stop.
Yes dear friends I am no longer going to feel guilty regarding the state of my house: the hall/stairs/landing have only been decorated once in 27 years. All three bedrooms need decorating/painting. As do the two downstairs living rooms. The stress and guilt I've put myself under is, frankly, ridiculous! It is tiring enough surviving severe depression; OCD and anxiety. More than enough!
I no longer feel guilty for not holding down a 'proper' job for over ten years. Why? Because I worked from age 15 in Saturday jobs; leaving Sainsbury's on the Saturday as I began full time training for Dental Nursing the following Monday.
Brushes with one of the people at the Jobcentre has left a deep mark on my self esteem. Now, fortunately, I recognise that the person in question was a bully. He used to make me squirm in my chair, I felt so embarrassed and threatened by him that I dreaded going.
I have brought up my girls on my own for many years, so instead of putting myself down for not being 'good enough' I am going to practise self-care and patience with myself. Beating oneself up for being ill is pointless and damaging. No more!
Self respect and soul nourishing are the order of the day.
A Moodscope member
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